Mazey Eddings' Newsletter!
Happy Thirst Trap Thursday!
Greetings you precious, voluptuous-cheeked quokkas!
I hope your day isn't sucking ass too hard *stares in year-long pandemic*. Welcome to my inaugural newsletter!
I've been thinking about (read: stressing) what I would put in my author newsletter for months now, but I've finally reached the "fug it" point where this will become one more medium where I scream about things I'm obsessing over, talk about my cats, and throw in some writing news as it comes.
Without further ado...
The Music 🎶
Do you ever hear a song and decide to restructure your entire personality around it? That's me with bellyache by Billie Eilish. This is particularly problematic because 1.) this song released in 2018 so I am once again massively late to the party and can't find anyone to scream about it with beside my mom and 2.) this song is about murdering your friends and lover but make it Hot™️. This new obsession was largely catalyzed by watching Billie's documentary The World's a Little Blurry and now I'm playing her entire discography on loop. I have infiltrated stan territory and will report back soon.
I've also thoroughly lost my chill because Miss Taylor Allison Swift keeps dropping vault songs left and right and MAKING ME FEEL SO MANY FEELINGS. I was alerted of her latest release, Mr. Perfectly Fine, by my friends Jaque, Mae, and Purabi posting about it on Twitter and I have yet to recover.
The Cats 🐈⬛
For those of you that don't know, I have two cats: Yaya (left) and Zadie (right). They are simultaneously the lights of my life and the banes of my existence. They are fluffy creatures of non-malevolent destruction.
My life (and apartment) is in constant disarray because of their antics. My third child is a robot vacuum named Mr. Suckington. Yaya has made it her personal mission in life to fuck with this vacuum for 22 hours a day, herding him until he gets stuck in a corner, eating his bristles, smacking him when he zooms by. This week, my devious daughter has figured out how to turn him on with her paw and I will never know peace.
Zadie, on the other hand, has a new fascination with getting in the fridge. I'll open the doors to get my water pitcher and, like a bat out of hell, she comes charging out of nowhere, leaps into the fridge, and quickly worms her way to the most inconvenient spot in the back where I then have to remove everything from the shelf to pull her out.
The Books 📚
I finished Get a Life, Chloe Brown by the incomparable Talia Hibbert and I haven't been able to think about anything else since. I truly cannot get over it. I keep reaching for a different book and then, oops, my hand slips, and next thing I know I've been re-reading sections of Get a Life for four hours. I'm not mad about it.
I do have a confession to make, though. I am somewhat subconsciously putting off reading Eve's book because I'M NOT READY FOR THE SERIES TO END. Dead ass, I cannot handle it.
I read Dani's book last year and absolutely loved it and at this point I know I'm not physically prepared for how sucked in I will be for Eve's story and the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye. Does anyone else do this? Where you KNOW how much you'll love something and how it will become your New Favorite Thing™️ so you put off reading or watching or listening until you really can't wait any longer? It's like literary edging. Prose peaking. Story surfing... (if you don't know what edging, peaking, or surfing refers to in this context please see here for more information... probably NSFW).
In regards to my own book, things are chugging along behind the scenes and there are many things I can't share yet (COVER SHAPED THINGS OMG), that will be revealed in the near future and I am beside myself with excitement to tell you more about Dental Dan and anxious angel Harper. In the meantime, I'm continuing to write because... well because I can't seem to stop and I just really like it. I'm working on a book in the same universe as A Brush with Love and I'm mentioning this solely to manifest actually finishing the damn thing because I'm in a massive "I've-forgotten-how-to-write" slump but I can't let this ✨epistolary✨ frenemies-to-lovers, Folklore-vibes, story wither and die in my google doc. It feels awkward to talk about what I'm writing when very very few have actually read anything I've written so I'm just go to... oh so subtly... change topics to...
The Thirst 🥵💦
Surprising absolutely no one, here's a thirst trap Thursday treat of Jonathan Bailey.
Okay but actually how dare he. HOW DARE HE. The PINSTRIPES?? The EXPOSED BRICK?? The SMOKESTACKS??? Don't even get me started on his ears damnit. This is peak Johnny right here and it made me want to bite my phone in half.
So hold that perfectly mussed haired image in your mind—HOLD IT—and now picture him standing next to this gorgeous goddess of unparalleled beauty:
Like... holy hell. Jonathan Bailey is hot but Simone Ashley is so stunning it's almost hard to look directly at her and we are supposed to somehow survive an entire TV series with these two??? I will quite simply perish. I will scream so hard the sound waves will crack my TV and break my lungs. It's the unmitigated truth of the matter. And on top of it all they both seem to be genuinely wonderful people??? My body is but a vessel for uncontrolled excitement to see them absolutely slay Bridgerton season 2.
The [Horrifying] GIF
I've unwittingly developed a reputation for posting horrifying gifs on Twitter and I figured it was a great idea to carry that talent over to my newsletter. Here's this week's offering:
The End 🤡
I could go on forever but I'm worried this was already rambley enough and most of you have probably already unsubscribed (don't leave me!) and thusly, I bid you adieu with one last sweet angel quokka picture to express my undying gratitude that any of you even signed up for this thing
All my love,
Mazey ❤️🧠🦷